Beer And Fairytales
by VikiWiks
Summary: Arthur and Merlin slash. Semi strong language. Merlin's been at the old ale, and is determinded to annoy Arthur with it. One shot.


_Beer And Fairytales_

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down thy golden tresses!" Merlin shouted whilst hurling large stones that he'd gathered, at a window of the beguiling castle.

As soon as this bizarre sentence left his cheerful lips, a disgruntled Prince pushed open his window.

"Merlin?" He 'whispered' loudly. His face was a picture of both annoyance and shock.

"What in the name of all that is holy are you doing here?" Just as Merlin began to scrape together some sort of an undoubtedly ludicrous explanation, Arthur interrupted. "Wait. Did you just call me '_Rapunzel_'?"

Merlin gave a great grin as he shouted back, "Well, you _are_ a pretty royal are you not?" without an ounce of poise.

Arthur's heart was in his throat. _'Hell, anyone could have heard that!'_ And then it dawned on him.

"Merlin," in that same 'whisper', "are you pissed?"

"By golly! I think I am!" Merlin cried stumbling back on his feet a little, making the other physically wince in utter shame.

"Typical. The idiot." He muttered angrily as he moved from his window, brooding over what to do with his terrible manservant. He sighed angrily folding his arms.

"What? Are you dumping me? I'm hurt Arthur Pendragon, I'm-" A large boot hit him directly in the face.

"Merlin. In. Now." Arthur shouted, becoming so enthralled by his fury that he had stopped caring who heard.

"Rightio." The dark haired man remarked, and shuffled to the castle's side entrance, and receiving a mocking look from a guard, who muttered, "Kids today" with a shake of the head.

Merlin ambled through the dimly lit corridors, passing staircase after staircase, till he came to the familiar lavish tapestry of a beautiful dragon, which he could recognise anywhere. As he plodded a heavy footstep on the first step, supporting himself with the cold stone wall, Arthur surprised him by appearing, seemingly out of no where and giving him the harshest look out of all the harshest looks he had ever given Merlin.

"Rapunzel!" Merlin yelled and grasped an unsuspecting Arthur into a great bear hug, even with the smell of ale swimming in the air around him, the hug still managed to hold great warmth and character regardless. Arthur, for a mere second, even forgot that he was upset and dreadfully exhausted, caught up in the whirlwind of emotion that Merlin was trying to get him held up in.

The blonde pushed him away after a moment and grabbed the other's arm gruffly.

"You bloody drunk."

"Noooo." Merlin grinned.

"I don't know why I don't just sack you." He muttered as he dragged the manservant reluctantly up the grey staircase.

"I know!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes. But I'm not telling. Shush!" Merlin was acting more and more like a child as he shakily placed a bony finger on his lips, which made Arthur merely look him up and down sceptically.

"No. Tell me."

"It's a secret."

"I'm the prince here. If I want something I get it. Or do you want the stocks?" He threatened as they came to the door of his chambers.

"Again? Oh no, I hate tomatoes." The magical one exclaimed in a dramatic tone.

"I know that's the point." the other responded bluntly.

"Unfortunate."

"What is?"

Merlin raised his free arm in a triumphant pose, "That it's the point of course!"

"_What? _Look, are you going to tell me what you're on about or not?" Arthur requested agitatedly as he opened the heavy oak door with his friend in tow, trying to keep some sort of control and balance.

Merlin laughed mischievously in reply.

"Why do I bother?" was all he could be bothered to muster.

In the faint moonlight, Arthur dug around for a winter blanket that had been left folded in a nearby cupboard in case of a bitter night and lay it on the floor, whilst Merlin settled himself in the prince's usual extravagant armchair. Arthur looked down at his handy work and stood back proudly, facing Merlin, "There you go." He announced with is arms stretched in the direction of the blanket laying on the floor.

"I kinda like the chair." Merlin retorted instead, running his hands along the delicate velvet arm rests.

"Er... No."

"It's so soft, I see why you're so possessive over it."

"Yes, like I am possessive over it now. Get off it." Was the order.

"Nooooo." Became a frequent answer from him.

Arthur sighed, what did he really expect to achieve from negotiating with a drunken Merlin?

"Come on." he said and grabbed the top of Merlin's arms and picked him up with his soldier strength. Arthur settled the drunk onto the blanket in a magnificent graceful sweep. As he was about to let go Merlin unexpectedly grabbed onto his nightshirt and tugged on it forcefully, bringing Arthur to an uncharacteristic fall on top of Merlin, which is only saved with his hands holding up his frame a mere few inches from booze breath.

"I know something you don't know!" Merlin sang in a hushed tone. With every warm breath that hit Arthur's face a wave of flushed embarrassment would wash over him. It seemed to make him powerless to move. He wanted to hurt Merlin for being such an attention seeking tosser, with no purpose other than to make his stomach lurch every time he said 'Arthur' instead of 'sire'. Wait. Did he just think that? Consciously?

Arthur tried to pull back but Merlin only held on tighter.

"Fine. _What?_" He succumbed with a cut of the eyes.

"You _like_ me!"

Arthur attempted to move again, this time with a lot more force, only too much. Within moments the room was a blur to both as Arthur hit his head on the floor and Merlin falling on top of him.

"Ow!" He snapped rubbing his head automatically.

"Idiot." Merlin scoffed as he stood up wobbly.

"How dare you!" the prince growled from the floor.

"What?"

"You cannot speak to the Prince of Albon in this way!"

"What you going to do about it?"

"I'll..." Arthur was mentally pulling at straws. He didn't want to get rid of Merlin, he made things… interesting, but he cannot afford to lose any more face now.

"Sack me? We both know you can't." He stated confidently, most likely drifting into another state of being smashed: feeling untouchable.

Arthur stood up and took a step forward so that their eyes met directly even in the poor light.

"You're fired."

Merlin barely stifled a laugh. "Yeah right."

"I mean it."

Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, you don't believe me. This morning do not even think about trying to sort out my garments for the day. I'll have Ronald do it."

"Ronald?"

"Yes. Problem, peasant?" the other man spat.

"No." he replied bitterly. "But if I'm no longer working for you, there should be no problem with me doing this." Within nanoseconds Merlin's lips were already pressed against Arthur's and his hand snaking around his neck, making the kiss deeper.

Arthur was in shock.

Utter, utter shock.

And yet, all he could do was reciprocate the kiss thrust upon him. He felt so many emotions at once that he didn't know what to do with them. Women- they were simple. It was nice. But Merlin was a whole other story, he felt passionate and safe at the same time, conversely, there was slight disgust at the idea that this is a man, he never thought he was gay, but Merlin always made him feel odd, not like a woman, it was... different. _This_ was different, it was exciting. His heart was thumping rapidly in his chest as he pulled Merlin closer, his hands in Merlin's messy hair, he could feel all the different strands of it on the back of his head. He mentally chuckled at he idea of it feeling like stroking a dog's fur, loyal to the end Merlin is!

Merlin, after a minute of passionate kissing pulled away from Arthur.

"I knew it!"

"Knew _what_?" Regaining a shred of his previous irritation from previous.

"I'm not drunk." Merlin grinned merrily, making Arthur's stomach flip, flip and then do acrobatics.

"WHAT?" He yelled.

"I needed to know how you felt."

Arthur flopped on the edge of his bed in a rather pitiful posture, with his head in his hands.

"You bastard." he murmured spitefully.

"Noooo." Merlin slurred as if it had become his catchphrase.

"You fool! Shut up! Ever since you drank from that bloody cup! I- I... I don't know. I don't bloody know anything any more. You confuse me immensely."

Merlin gave him a slight smile, a smile of apology and empathy.

"Sorry." He offered pathetically.

He sat down next to Arthur and spoke in a softer tone than before, probably the softest tone he's ever used to the prince, "I didn't think. I just thought; oh I don't know what I thought." He let out a light-hearted sigh, "I guess you confuse me too eh? I just, I just felt that you only verbally abuse me all the time because you secretly liked me, guess you really are just a prat. And Morgana said-"

"Morgana?" Arthur interrupted finally able to actually look at Merlin.

"Yeah, well, she voiced her suspicions."

"Bitch." Arthur exclaimed.

"That's a bit harsh."

"Well it's true!" he cried defensively.

They both caught each other gaze, and forgot that they were supposed to be feeling awkward.

"So.." Merlin began, "What do we do now- eh?" with a smile.

"We can't."

"Can't what?"

"Oh so now it's _your_ turn to be confused."

"What? Arthur, stop acting like a pregnant woman and explain yourself!"

"I can't do this. Whatever _this _is." Arthur stated plainly, not daring to even look at Merlin.

"Why not? You like me, I like you? What else is there?"

"Hmm, let me think... Kingdom, Father, Duty, Heir-" he counted sarcastically on his fingers.

"You're such a coward."

"You're one to talk."

"_How?_ The amount of times I've nearly died for you- willingly. Not just because of my job, it's because I _care_ Arthur. And I would gladly die a thousand painful deaths for you."

"So would I." Arthur snapped quietly.

"Well I wouldn't let you, so tough."

"Well, I don't exactly let you. You disobey me at every turn!"

"Doesn't matter now does it? I'm fired remember." he added in a sulk.

The blonde groaned at his own loss of this argument. "You're not. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic."

"I want to kiss you."

"_What?" _Merlin turned to face him, with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not say it again." Arthur's frustration with himself was clearly evident, he kept looking at everything but Merlin.

"I'm not complaining but, why?"

"How many times must I say that I don't know?"

"Many, many times."

Merlin leaned across to Arthur, and kissed him softly. "You're stuck with me now, you know that?"

Arthur rolled his eyes and kissed him back, with just as much tenderness as before.

**AN: My first FanFic, so sorry if it's a bit rubbish or cheesy, feedback greatly appreciated! Oh, and Merlin's breath only smells like ale because he only had a pint! I couldn't really put that in there. **

**Thanks for reading :)  
**


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